I always wear my Keen flip flops when I go swimming at the pool.

They (loudly) squeak when I leave as my feet are still wet. You can hear the sound from a 100-feet away.

It doesn’t bother me, but if I am walking behind people, they often turn around to see what is so annoying.

If I see somebody who turns I simply say, “Do you know why I wear these squeaky flip flops?” And, whether they ask why or not, I go on and say, “My parole officers (plural) make me wear them. They say the sound gives my potential victims a running head start.”

Men just roll their eyes and woman wonder if there is a hint of truth in my comment.