Thing Learned

Nobody (well, nobody except you) really cares what anyone says (all the things I shouldn’t have said), shares, tells, exposes, comments, observes, theorizes, muses, shouts, whispers, posits, announces (you get the idea) – people just don’t care. But you… I just want to thank you for caring!

Just What Is Things Learned?

‘Things Learned’ is exactly that… I didn’t discover it, I didn’t create it, nor invent it – I learned it from someone, somewhere, someplace else (That’s my way of telling you I just plain stole it). Many times I just stumbled upon, scolded by someone or just ‘stepped’ on it by mistake.

 For most of my lessons you can substitute out the banana
and substitute in something else I stepped upon…

What the ‘thing’ was, it struck me as interesting, and, sadly, something I really should have already known just through common sense, live experience or having half-a-brain. (Alas, here I am.)

Good Artists Copy, Great Artists Steal – Many people first heard that quote from Steve Jobs ^1*Steve Jobs Interview – Good Artists Copy, Great Artists Steal , but even he admits that he stole that comment from Pablo Picasso ^2*Pablo Picasso

‘Things Learned’ is also stuff that I shoulda’ learned after the third or fifth time I screwed up, things I shoulda’ learned in fourth grade, things I shoulda’ learned when someone said to me, “Can we talk?” Things I shoulda’ learned by paying more attention… I know, I know, I can be a (very) slowww learner at times, you know? The many things where I just didn’t fully understand, grasp, comprehend, synthesize, empathize… in short, where I failed (Gawd, I am so good great at failure).

Oh well. “Better late than never,” (Matthew Henry) ^3* Matthew Henry (Of course, if I were more educated and/or better read, I would have quoted William Shakespeare’s ^4* William Shakespeare , “Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.”)

With that preface, probably, hopefully, possibly, umm, smartie-pants, maybe, just maybe you can get something out of it also.

People Are Like Banks, You Have To Make Deposits Before You Can Make Withdrawals

One thing I learned (only took 30+ years, but it looks like it will take another 30+ to implement) was that you need to create social and human capital. You just don’t go up to someone and say, “Are you going to eat that cookie?” (or “Can you give me a kidney?”). You have to build a relationship. I think I got the ‘make deposits’ quote from Roger Von Oech ^5* Roger Von Oech – “But, I could be wrong.” I definitely got the “But, I could be wrong,” quote from Dennis Miller ^6* Dennis Miller Rant Videos

Also, here is a quote attributed to Arthur Ashe ^7* Arthur Ashe .

“From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.” 

No Carpal Tunnel For You (Because I’m Your Bud)

So… in demonstrating how apt I am in applying the ‘banking deposits theory,’ here you go – should you want to contact me and demonstrate how you already knew everything about what I am writing, or how you want to tell me that “I shoulda’ known this,” or why I am even bothering to waste keystrokes (“You are wasting electrons, man.”), feel free to use this template so I can help you save your valuable time and minimize your own ‘wasted electrons’ keystrokes. And, as a bonus just, solely, only for you, this template will minimize your future carpal tunnel ^8* carpal tunnel exposure.

I Was Asked, “Where Do You Get Your Ideas?”

I want to say (but it isn’t true), “Just so you know, I get most of my good ideas from life lessons and ‘things learned’ that occurred to me… I read a lot and try to pay attention.”

“Where Do You Get Your Ideas?”-  In Reality, It Is The ‘Trickle Down Oprah Syndrome’

But in reality, at least for relationship and husbandry issues, I get them indirectly from Oprah. (“WHY Oprah?”, “WHY did you want to cause so much grief for every American male?” There is no way I could ever keep up with all the things you shared with my wife like, “Your man should be doing this for you,” “How to help your husband communicate better,” “When your husband says and does stupid things that don’t consider your, or your mother’s, feelings,” and other pearls of wisdom from Oprah ^9* Oprah . All those life lessons go directly from Oprah to my wife to me. Hopefully, nothing is lost in translation.

The above picture illustrates why there were so many Oprah episodes ^10*Oprah Episodes

(And, don’t get me started about the person some call a traitor the biggest traitor to males, Dr. Phil ^11* Dr. Phil Relationship Advice

There are a lot of dates I like to observe and honor: my daughter’s birthday, my wedding anniversary, various national holidays centered upon chocolate ^12*Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate (Halloween ^13* Halloween and Valentine’s Day ^14* Valentine’s Day ), and I have added a new favorite – the day of the final Oprah Winfrey Show episode ^15* Final Oprah Winfrey Show Episode . (Wednesday, May 25, 2011 – about 4 pm PST, if you are keeping track.)

My advice to you, even after Oprah is gone? Look at your spouse with love and reverence and say, “Yes, dear. I will do better next time.”

What Say You? Contact Us (well, me): With that brief preface, feel free to speak your mind, share your insightful thoughts, unload your frustrations, tell me what to do, tell me where to go, ramble as much as necessary – ‘write’ away…

Anyways, enjoy reading – visit my Things Learned Facebook page (Thanks Zuck ^16* Mark Zuckerberg ).